Chibuluma Seventh-Day Adventist Church

“God created man in His own image...male and female He created them. Then God blessed them, and God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth’” (Genesis 1:27, 28, NKJV).

Browse Article Contents

• Top 10 Bible verses About Marriage
• What the Bible Says About Marriage
• Biblical Traits of a Godly Husband or Wife

The First Marriage

It’s important to note that God initiated this very first marriage in the garden of Eden. Marriage comes from God. And His union of Adam and Eve illustrates God’s ideal for marriage—one man and one woman joined together in a life-long commitment to each other, working together to form strong, godly families. Obviously, human beings haven’t always followed that ideal, but God’s way is still the best way to cultivate a strong, healthy marriage.

Joined

After God created Eve “He brought her to the man. And Adam said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.’ . . . Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:22-24).

God created man and woman for each other. He created them to be one entity through marriage. God created man and woman to enjoy an exclusive relationship and use that relationship to be good stewards of the earth and to bless others (Genesis 1:28).

Top 10 Bible Verses About Marriage

The Bible has a lot to say about marriage, so let’s look at a “Top Ten List” of some of the most important Bible texts about marriage.

1) Mark 10:6-9 = God instituted marriage and gives it His blessing. (See also Genesis 1:27, 28; Genesis 2:18-25; Hebrews 13:4.)

2) Genesis 2:18 = God created humans with an innate need and desire for the close bond that marriage provides. (See also Ecclesiastes 4:9-11.)

3) Genesis 2:23, 24 = The husband and wife become “one” in the marriage bond. (See also Matthew 19:5, 6.)

4) Ecclesiastes 9:9 = Marriage is a lifelong commitment. (See also Genesis 2:22-24; Proverbs 5:18.)

5) Ephesians 5:28, 33 = Husbands and wives are to love and respect each other. (See also Ephesians 5:25.)

6) 2 Corinthians 6:146) Husbands and wives should be bonded together with similar beliefs, goals, and objectives. (See also Deuteronomy 7:3, 4; Genesis 24:3, 4.)

7) Exodus 20:17 = Husbands and wives are to be faithful to each other in the marriage relationship. (See also Leviticus 18:20; Hebrews 13:4.)

8) Matthew 5:32 = Adultery is the only biblically acceptable reason for divorce.

9) Isaiah 62:5 = An ideal marriage relationship mirrors God’s loving relationship with His people. (See also Isaiah 54:5; Ephesians 5:25; Revelation 19:7-9.)

10) Proverbs 31:10 = A strong marriage relationship is a precious thing. (See also Proverbs 18:22; Song of Solomon 3:4; 8:6,7.)

What the Bible Says About Marriage

1) God Instituted Marriage and Blessed It

“Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled” (Hebrews 13:4). We have already seen that God performed the very first wedding at the end of creation week and blessed the new couple (Genesis 1:27, 28). Marriage is something that God Himself instituted and blessed. This is important, because it tells us that marriage is a good thing. It is one of the blessings that God has given us from the very beginning.

The Bible puts it like this: “From the beginning of the creation, God ‘made them male and female.’ For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, . . . Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Mark 10:6-9).

2) A Close Bond in Marriage

“The Lord God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make a helper comparable to him’” (Genesis 2:18). After each of the six days of creation week, God reviewed what He had made and saw that it was “good.” But there was one thing in Eden that very first week that was not good! All the animals God had created came in pairs—a male and a female. But there was no female for Adam! That is when God created Eve and performed the very first marriage (Genesis 2:21-24). It is only after creating both Adam and Eve and instituting their union that God reviewed His work and said it was “very good” (Genesis 1:31).

God made men and women to complement each other—physically, mentally, and socially. He built into our being a desire for the companionship of a husband or wife. He gives them the ability to help each other. “Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; but how can one be warm alone” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-11).

3) The Husband and Wife Become One

“He [God] brought her [Eve] to the man. And Adam said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’ Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:23, 24).

When God “joins” a man and a woman together, it is a union so close that no other earthly relationship can compare. They are to cling to each other in a permanent bond and experience the “becoming one” mentioned in Genesis 2:24. Of course, one clear, biblical meaning of becoming one is through the God-blessed gift of sexual intimacy. But becoming one is more than that. It is also a growth in common goals and aspirations and the further development of mutual trust, loyalty, devotion, and companionship. “Becoming one” is a life-long process of cultivating intimacy with each other within the marriage relationship.

But cultivating intimacy with a mate should also help us cultivate intimacy with God, the Creator of the relationship. He gave us the marriage relationship to help us better understand the relationship He Himself would like to have with each one of us.

4) A Lifelong Commitment

“Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your . . . life” (Ecclesiastes 9:9). Marriage, as God intended it, is a commitment for life—during good times and bad.

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24, emphasis added).

The Hebrew word translated as “joined” in this verse also includes other shades of meaning. The same verb is used in other parts of the Bible as “cling, cleave, keep close or hold fast”. This word is many times used in the Old Testament to describe the way God’s people are to permanently cling to Him and hold fast to His law and statues, remaining faithful to Him even as He is faithful to them. In the context of Genesis 2:24, this word stipulates that husbands and wives cling to each other permanently in a bond so close that nothing can come between them.

5) Love and Respect in Marriage

“Husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. . . . Let each one of you . . . so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:28, 33). Without mutual love and respect on the part of husbands and wives, a marriage cannot last. Paul says that husbands must love their wives as Christ loves the church! (Ephesians 5:25). And, if that weren’t enough, Paul continues by giving the sacrifice that Christ made on the cross as an example for husbands to follow! That is the kind of self-sacrificing love that should exist in a marriage.

6) Similarity in Beliefs, Goals, and Objectives

“Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion has light with darkness” (2 Corinthians 6:14). Marriage is a blending of two lives into “one flesh.” This doesn’t mean that husbands and wives must think and feel exactly alike in everything. Marriage doesn’t extinguish individuality.

But a difference in religious beliefs is an almost insurmountable obstacle to a successful marriage. Differences in beliefs create other disagreements that can affect the marriage negatively. One of the most salient is the decision about in which religion or belief system to raise the children of the marriage. This can become a very difficult point of contention.

God desires to work through the marriage to show both partners more about Himself. However, He cannot do so if one partner does not know Him. Paul had it right when he said “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers.” God wishes to save us from useless heartache. But more importantly, He desires that we experience true love and acceptance through a marriage that includes Him.

7) Faithfulness in Marriage

"You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife" (Exodus 20:17). Infidelity is devastating to a marriage—even for those who have little or no religious beliefs. Infidelity can encompass various types, including sexual and emotional. Either way, infidelity breaks trust between partners and leads to negative consequences such as separation, divorce, depression, feelings of low self-esteem and difficulty maintaining current and future relationships. God’s plan of permanent fidelity and faithfulness in marriage can guard against these kinds of consequences. However, even in the case of infidelity, God can offer forgiveness and healing that can restore relationships.

8) Divorce

“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh[.]’ So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:5-6). When the pharisees heard Jesus say this, they asked him why Moses allowed the people of Israel to divorce. Jesus replied, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so” (verse 8). Divorce was never part of the original plan that God had for human beings. He doesn’t want anyone to divorce, ever! However, God knew that as sinful humans, we would experience problems in our relationships, some problems that would be irreconcilable. He knew we would need some guidelines for divorce and grace to work through our imperfect relationships.

Biblical Guidelines for Divorce

Jesus also said, “Whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery” (Matthew 5:32). This grows out of the principle that faithfulness in marriage is vital. Jesus’ statement is a difficult one. It is not easy to know how to apply it in the dysfunctional world we live in today. What about physical and mental abuse, abandonment, or long-term imprisonment for criminal action? What about drug, alcohol or pornography addiction in a marriage? These are sticky situations that do not fall under sexual infidelity but can still serve to make a marriage untenable.

The apostle Paul seems to allow permanent separation where abandonment occurs by the unbelieving partner (1 Corinthians 7:15) and Moses allowed divorce because of the hardness of the people’s hearts (Mark 10:5), but these were never God’s ideal for marriage (Matthew 19:8).

“‘I hate divorce,’ says the LORD” (Malachi 2:16). God hates divorce and all the repercussions that hurt the people involved. We have already discussed above the effects of infidelity on individuals but have not even mentioned the implications of separation and divorce on other relationships. When a divorce happens, everyone related to the couple feels the repercussions. It affects the wife’s extended family and the husband’s extended family. It usually breaks off relationships between those two extended families. Even friendships can be affected as friends who got on well with the couple before, now have to choose between the two.

But by far the most significant and long-lasting consequences of divorce occur for the children of the marriage. Many children of divorce suffer a host of short-term and long-term repercussions including feelings of guilt over the loss of relationship between their parents. This trauma is so deep that many go on to experience failed relationships themselves. Children of divorce are also more likely to experience impaired ability to cope with social situations, more mental health difficulties and an elevated risk of substance abuse. All of these consequences can affect them in negative ways for the rest of their lives.

God doesn’t want any of these outcomes for us or for our families. He wants us to be perfectly happy forever. But in this world of sin, many sad things happen that blot out the true joy He had planned for us. Sometimes leaving a dysfunctional marriage is necessary. Sometimes a new relationship can be blessed by God.

But oftentimes divorce and all these negative consequences can be avoided as the husband and wife seek to restore the soured relationship through counseling, advice of trusted others and just plain listening to each other’s grievances. Many divorced people say that if they had known the consequences, they would never have considered divorce as an option. They wish they had tried harder to restore their marriages.

God is the Restorer (Psalms 80:3). Just as God, the husband of Israel, always accepted her back when she repented, so God can make something new and beautiful out of broken relationships. His forgiveness can cover our mistakes and make us whole again. His grace is sufficient for even this.

9) Marriage Mirrors God’s Relationship with His People

“As the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you” (Isaiah 62:5). Throughout the Bible, God presents Himself as the husband of His people. “For your Maker is your husband, The LORD of hosts is His name…” (Isaiah 54:5). His church is His bride whom He loves and cherishes (Ephesians 5:25-27). Marriage is the closest, most intimate relationship we can experience here on earth, and God uses it to illustrate the intimate relationship He wants to have with you and me!

10) Marriage is Precious

“Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away. If one were to give all the wealth of one’s house for love, it would be utterly scorned” (Song of Solomon 8:7). (See also Isaiah 62:5; Proverbs 31:10, 11; Proverbs 18:22; Song of Solomon 3:4; 8:6.) The marriage relationship is a very special bond that God instituted and blessed. He desires for humans to experience a small taste of His love for us through this earthly relationship.

Biblical Traits of a Good Husband or Wife

Proverbs 31 has been called a description of “The Ideal Wife.” And it’s true that the chapter, as written, focuses on the wife. But in reality, the ideal qualities given in this chapter apply equally to a husband as well as to a wife.

So how does the Bible define a good wife (or husband)? Here is a list of characteristics based on Proverbs 31. Look up the verses and see for yourself how they are described. Can you find other qualities in this chapter that are not listed here?

• Dependable (verse 11)
• A positive outlook that brings out the best in one’s spouse (verse 12)
• Hardworking (verse 13)
• Provides for the household (verse 15)
• Thrifty (verse 16)
• Compassionate and aware of others people’s needs (verse 20)
• Is a credit to one’s spouse in the community (verse 23)
• Kind (verse 26)
• Loved and respected by the children and by one’s spouse (verse 28)
• Has a good reputation outside the home (verse 31)

Biblical Examples of Marriage

One of the ways the Bible teaches us is by stories and examples (1 Corinthians 10:11). In the area of marriage, the Bible gives us examples of good marriages and bad ones.

Ruth and Boaz

For an example of a good marriage, read the story of Ruth and Boaz. You’ll find it in the short, Old Testament book of Ruth. It’s only four chapters long. As you read the story of how they met and decided to marry, look for elements that made their marriage a success and a union that God could bless. Ruth and Boaz lived in a very different time and culture than we do today, so some of the details may seem strange to us, but the principles of a good marriage are timeless. Here are a few:

1) Ruth was a hard worker. Right away she offered to go find food for herself and for her mother-in-law, Naomi. In performing her normal duties for sustenance, she ended up finding salvation for the family and a loving relationship for herself.

2) Ruth accepted the advice of a trusted advisor. Ruth listened to the information Naomi gave her about who Boaz was and how he fit into their family story. Ruth also followed Naomi’s advice about how she should interact with Boaz. In matters of relationships, it is always important to have good advice from people you trust. This helps to avoid rash decisions you could regret for the rest of your life.

3) Ruth did not choose someone who fit her momentary flight of fancy (Ruth 3:10). Instead, she picked someone as her husband who showed himself to be a respectful and caring man.

4) Boaz was mature and emotionally ready for marriage. In this story, he showed himself to be a wise, intuitive, industrious, efficient, respectful and caring man. He noticed Ruth at once and found out all he could about her. Then, he started protecting her immediately, asking his servants to treat her kindly. He spoke to her and made her feel comfortable. He had also paid attention to the local news because he knew immediately who she was and praised her for her devotion and care to her mother-in-law. Furthermore, he went out of his way to fulfill the redemption requirements of that culture. He wasted no time, but quickly and shrewdly obtained the right to marry Ruth.

5) Both Ruth and Boaz had consciously chosen Yahweh as their God and had chosen to live by the principles He had outlined for His people. Ruth gave up her Moabite people, her culture, and her gods to follow Naomi and the Jewish God. In keeping with that choice, she also chose to marry someone who likewise followed Yahweh. Boaz showed through his actions and his speech that he was a man of God. In a successful marriage it is so crucial that both partners follow the same belief system. With the difficulties that marriage often poses in uniting two disparate human beings, differences in beliefs only make it that much harder to maintain a marriage relationship. Moreover, people who choose to have God as part of their relationship, enjoy the added benefit of God’s care, guidance and protection that lead to a more lasting and meaningful relationship.

Samson

For an example of a bad marriage—a very bad marriage—read the story of Samson and his Philistine wife in Judges chapters 14 & 15. The story of Samson’s marriage reads almost like a counter narrative to the story of Ruth and Boaz. Samson makes some pretty poor choices that quickly lead his marriage to a tragic end.

1) First, Samson’s choice of a wife was based on a flight of fancy. He saw someone he liked and he decided he wanted her. He did not investigate her family or origin. He simply dove right in.

2) Secondly, Samson chose not listen to the advice of trusted advisors. Despite the advice of his godly parents who tried to dissuade him from this rash decision, he insisted on going ahead with the marriage.

3) Samson showed himself to be emotionally unready for marriage. He chose not to try to control his anger and he displayed a very bad temper which often led to murdering people, sometimes many people, for very little reason. Throughout the story, he constantly chose to deviate from the plan that God had for his life as a judge of God’s people.

4) But most importantly, Samson chose someone outside his faith. He would never be able to serve God wholeheartedly and be married to a Philistine wife at the same time. Conversely, a Philistine wife would never be helpful to him in his mission to serve the One True God, Yahweh, and be an effective judge of God’s people.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the Bible says that marriage is a blessing given to us by God to make our lives richer and more fulfilling. It says that a good marriage not only draws us closer to our spouse, but it can also draw us closer to God. In fact, the marriage relationship is given to us to help us better understand our relationship with God. Jesus calls us His bride. In Ephesians 5:32, right after saying that a man should leave his mother and father and be joined to his wife and they shall be one flesh, Paul says, “This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.” We are to be united with Christ as His bride in a relationship as close and as intimate as a marriage. In fact, the Old Testament is full of references to God’s people being His true bride and His true wife (Isaiah 54:5). Revelation makes it especially clear that Jesus is preparing to marry His wife, the Church, “Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His wife has made herself ready” (Revelation 19:7). Jesus even gives her the clothes to wear, a gift of His righteousness. “And to her it was granted to be arrayed in fine linen, clean and bright, for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints” (Revelation 19:8). And there is a special blessing pronounced over those who attend the marriage feast. “Blessed are those who are called to the marriage supper of the Lamb!” (Revelation 19:9). What about you? Will you accept the invitation to the marriage supper of the Lamb?